Have you ever been attempting progress at something and been doing pretty good at it? That is until one fancy day you didn’t feel like doing it anymore, at least not in the way you were, yet you also didn’t feel like NOT doing it anymore? Can’t give up and can’t go on. It’s the kind of thing I would expect if I fell down a rabbit hole.
I have been in this new diet and exercise way of life. Not “diet” in the sense that I am “going on a diet” but “diet” in the sense that “I have changed my diet”. You know, in a sustainable and sensible way. Allowing for certain things that won’t have me binging like a wolf who just tasted the blood of his prey. And trying not to eat things that do if I can avoid them, or at least I avoid these evils more often than not. It was going great. I had control and the desire to keep it up. Then one day not. Just for whatever reason the idea of logging, weighing, measuring and all “that” just felt like too much. Like it was in the way. I had actually stopped losing weight though I maintained my intake at or below what was supposed to yield a loss. So I went to just not logging anymore. Eating what felt like the right amount. That was the whole purpose of logging and weighing in the first place, to get back to knowing what a normal amount of food actually is. So I’ve done that. Now what? I haven’t gained doing this so it’s bad I don’t think.
Do I keep at this thing? Do I stop? Do I change it again? Do I go this way? That way? The wrong way? The right way? I feel like I am floating around like dust in a sunbeam. Never settling on any surface but standing a great chance of getting sucked up someone’s nostril.