Palsy face. The gift that keeps on giving.

It’s been several years since my round with Bell’s Palsy. I did not make a full recovery. My hearing was permanently affected. I now have hyperacusis. My face does strange things sometimes. Some movements are a little off, my right eye looks considerably smaller than my left.

It isn’t without it’s mind games also. Now every twitch, twinge, tingle or pain or ache sends me into a worry spiral. Is it the return of the palsy? Then I do it to myself. I think it hurts, twitches etc… therefore it hurts, twitches etc… It never turns into anything because at some point I forget top obsess over it and it fades from my attention.

I have spent the past few days in this spiral. I know how it has always turned out, but yet I still worry I won’t be so blessed this go round. Maybe that twinge or ache will be the return of the palsy. I can’t eat, I stay preoccupied, I feel anxious and edgy, snappish and rude. I feel like my search for people with this same worry spiral are rare. I would love to find a few people who go through this also. It would be very therapeutic to discuss this and support others in the process. The search goes on….

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Author: learninglife203

Any time I sit down to put anything in an "about me" section I draw a blank. Let's see if after all these months of having this blog I can drum something up. Hmmm.... Well I can't commit. I have trouble doing anything with the stench of permanency attached to it. I have two children and we are a home school family and we like it! I have a lifelong history of depression and roughly the past 25 years of my life panic and anxiety.I come from a long line of alcoholics and drug addicts and crazy people I'm afraid. I have always been told I am the normal one. I guess all that sobriety must have ensured my position as the black sheep of the family. I used to write a lot but once I became a wife and mother there was no time for that anymore. I have never been good at socializing. I am awkward and never know what to say, how to say it, or when. I have been using this blog as my venting place for all sorts of things though I do hope to include some more pleasant entries in the future. I was obese just a few months ago. I have lost 40 pounds so far and am on my way to a healthy weight. I have some good "fitness friends" who have provided support, encouragement and advice which kept me from getting derailed. I am working on self improvement in a lot of ways. I can't be perfect but I can be better at the very least.

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