It’s been several years since my round with Bell’s Palsy. I did not make a full recovery. My hearing was permanently affected. I now have hyperacusis. My face does strange things sometimes. Some movements are a little off, my right eye looks considerably smaller than my left.
It isn’t without it’s mind games also. Now every twitch, twinge, tingle or pain or ache sends me into a worry spiral. Is it the return of the palsy? Then I do it to myself. I think it hurts, twitches etc… therefore it hurts, twitches etc… It never turns into anything because at some point I forget top obsess over it and it fades from my attention.
I have spent the past few days in this spiral. I know how it has always turned out, but yet I still worry I won’t be so blessed this go round. Maybe that twinge or ache will be the return of the palsy. I can’t eat, I stay preoccupied, I feel anxious and edgy, snappish and rude. I feel like my search for people with this same worry spiral are rare. I would love to find a few people who go through this also. It would be very therapeutic to discuss this and support others in the process. The search goes on….